Home Search Speaker Request Speaker Corporate Event Planning For Ceo's Videos About Us Articles Links
Connie Merritt Full Profile >> • Testimonials … • Contact Us … • FAQ … • Site Map …• Glossary …
Sick of whine 'n jeez parties? Converting the Complainer
by Connie Merritt

"I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair..." so it begins in "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst. The children's story continue through carsickness, schoolyard tussles, a dentist visit, lima beans for dinner and sibling rivalry.

Remember that day when a storm kept you up all night (or, in California, an earthquake), your car wouldn't start, a deadline was moved up, the computer "lost" your report, the phone lines were capricious and an emergency meeting was called? All before 9 am!

At 9:05 you were invited to a "whine and jeez" party. Enter the complainer. This is a "lion." What now? Tame that lion with these simple steps:
  • Lighten up
  • Listen for clues
  • Lop it off
  • Put it in their lap
  • Limit your acquiescence
  • Lighten up
One of our greatest stressors everyday is that we take ourselves so seriously. We're so intent on getting it together, getting ahead, getting it done that we lose sight of fun and playfulness. Enter uptightness. Next time you're faced with with a demanding or pesky person, don't let them ruin your day. Take a deep breath, blow it out slowly and picture them in their underwear. Don't point and laugh, just enjoy your fantasy.
  • Listen for clues!
    Make a commitment to listen to them fully before you interrupt, explain or correct. Blow their mind by asking, "Is there anything else that you're concerned about?" Perry Mason always got as much information as he could to solve a case. Many times we cut off the complainer or ignore them, making them worse by our own need to fix 'em quickly. Asking for more complaints is not a sick desire for more pain, but a way to smoke out the real complaint. (Ever noticed how some people whine around a problem?) Think of them as a full balloon needing to be relieved of the hot air.
  • Lop it off!
    Once Mr. or Ms. Verypicky has dumped on you, take all that information and condense it into a few short sentences. Begin this paraphrasing by saying, "What I hear you saying is ..." or "It's my understanding that your main concern is ..." and then summarize the points as you understand them.
  • Put it in their lap!
    This is the key to converting them. Before you start with your defense, explanation or solution, ask them to solve the problem. This is like a tennis game when your opponent smashes a serve to you. What do you do? Return it! Say "If you were in my position, how would you solve this?" or "How would you like to see this resolved?"
  • Limit your acquiescence!
    The ball's in their court and they blast you with the most ridiculous solution. Try not to show emotion (outrage or laughter), paraphrase their solution and tell them what you're going to do. "I understand you'd like the manager shot, your money refunded, a new product at no charge and the company closed. What I am prepared to do is..." Limit your response to what you will do, avoiding the irritating "no," "it's against company policy," "it can't be done" or "that's not my job."
Dealing with the Complainer is simple, but not easy! Practice this formula on small issues and soon you'll be converting the best of them!

Copyright Connie Merritt, all rights reserved.

Speaker, Coach, Author of "Finding Love (Again!)"

END
 
 
 
Home Search Speaker Request Speaker Corporate Event Planning For Ceo's Videos About Us Articles Links
• Testimonials … • Contact Us … • FAQ … • Site Map …• Glossary …
© Copyright @ 2004 Keynote Resource Inc. All rights reserved. Permission is granted for linking to web pages within Keynote Resource
To book a speaker call toll-free : 1-800-420-4155       e-mail: yvon@keynoteresource.com      Privacy Policy
Privacy Statement/Policy
Keynote Resource realizes that when you complete forms on our web site you are providing us with information that is of a private nature. We assure you that we will not share or sell this information to a third party for any purpose. We treat all information provided to us as strictly confidential.
About KeynoteResource.com:
Keynote Resource speakers bureau can help you find the ideal keynote speakers for your next event. We represent inspirational speakers, motivational speakers, corporate entertainment and more.

Keynote Resource speakers bureau will find the perfect keynote speaker for your upcoming event, whether you are looking for inspirational speakers with a message, motivational speakers to set the tone of your conference or a facilitator for your annual retreat.

Keynote Resource speakers bureau works closely with executives, meeting planners and training directors to create events that result in highly productive learning or are just plain fun. We can identify business speakers, inspirational speakers or motivational speakers that are well suited to your event, send you videos and press kits to help you with your speaker selection and we’ll work closely with the keynote speakers you hire to ensure they customize their presentations to meet the specific needs of your audience.

We have speakers in all areas including Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin.

We can book speakers for you worldwide, in Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Hong Kong, China, Ireland, England, France, Italy, Switzerland, Denmark, Sweden, Brazil and The Bahamas. Click Here to Search A Speaker